This Just In: Lou Holtz Is a Moron

Ok just a short post for right now because I need to study for my IR and Arabic midterms (and/or apply for a job at McDonald's because I'm going to fail out of college after these two midterms).

But that's neither here nor there, I'm watching the BC/Virginia Tech game (fyi unless BC picks their game up, they will be the fourth straight #2 team in the nation to lose) and the half-time show just finished.

Don't know if you've figured this out, but Lou Holtz is an idiot.

At some point while he was droning on and on about how big Dennis Dixon's dick is, and how everyone at USC sucks (Wow, really Lou? Didn't see that one coming at all from you.), he started talking about USC's two quarterbacks: John David Booty and Tony Sanchez. I'm sorry, who? Dude, you cover football professionally, how do you not remember this stuff? Additionally, how did you get Tony? Mark...Tony...Mark...Tony. Nope, I don't see it. Oh wait, yes I do. YOU'RE OLD. QUIT YOUR JOB YOU OLD BASTARD. AND TAKE MARK MAY WITH YOU.

So yeah, I had myself a good chuckle and all was well in the world. Lou had made his mandatory stupid comment, and Mark May had been overly aggressive in his poor analysis of anything sports related.

But!

Lou Holtz got up to make one of his trademark pep talks to Nebraska. (Sorry Husker Nation, this means you're guaranteed to lose this weekend. You'll probably be demoted to 1-AA, too.)

Anyway, so blah blah blah I'm Lou Holtz and I give horrible pep talks that are extremely predictable. (By the way, if you were playing along with the "Lou Holtz Drinking Game", I think you would have take like 48 drinks during his two and a half minute pep talk.)

And then it happened.

I don't have a transcript of it, but Lou said something along the lines of this: "Men, you can fix anything if enough people care. We fixed racism and sexism because enough people cared, and men, we can fix this program if enough of you care."

Did Lou just compare Nebraska's recent string of poor seasons to the bloody and protracted Civil Right Movement of the 1950's and 60's for African-Americans?

Is Bill Callahan supposed to be Dr. Martin Luther King?

Is the University of Texas analogous to the Ku Klux Klan, violently attacking Nebraska's non-violent protests at white-only diners (and by non-violent protests at white-only diners, I mean athletes on scholarship playing football on Saturdays)?

Sam Keller is Medgar Evers, right?

I could go on, but I think Lou's dumb ass remarks speak for themselves.

Just stick to wrongly picking Notre Dame to win every week and leave the historical analogies alone, won't you, Lou?