The Good, The Bad, and Cal

Los Angeles -- Southern California, for that matter -- is ACTUALLY burning. Never would've thought that crappy Tommy Lee Jones movie would ever become a reality. I went home this weekend and saw the fires firsthand (the airplane pilot decided to take a quick detour to fly us over them and see the smoke) and it was spooky. Hope everyone who’s reading this down there is okay. Fortunately for me, I am not in LA. Unfortunately for me, I am still not okay.

As a side note, before you read anymore, it's time for some shameless self-promotion. We've only been a blog going on 2+ weeks note, but check out this website (12th in the nation! Better than the Golden Bears can say). I'd appreciate it if you went and voted for us by going to the bottom of the right tool bar. Thanks a bunch!

Anyway, I'm emotionally scarred after the second straight loss to my Golden Bears. Ironically, I jokingly said earlier that Cal could go 0-4 before the USC game. Now I'm praying they at least go 2-2. But it would appear that the season is beyond repair. I could outline some of the scenarios to win the Pac-10 title, such as Cal winning out, Oregon losing at USC/ASU, ASU losing to Oregon/USC, and UCLA losing to Oregon/ASU/USC, along with the establishment of a free Palestinian state and the curing of cancer. The way this season is going, all of those are possible…but should Cal win out and be eligible for an At-Large BCS berth, they wouldn’t deserve it given their shitty performances these past two weeks.

The team still gets my support, since I’ve got two more sets of card stunts at the home games. But my explanation for the drop from 2 to 21 is Jordan Kay (Thanks for the irony, Daily Cal). He might not be Tom Schneider/Jesus, but he’s had two crucial field goals missed in losses to OSU and UCLA. Kevin Riley might run the clock out when Nate Longshore doesn’t, and Nate Longshore might throw interceptions when Kevin Riley doesn’t, but those easy three would’ve changed both losses. Oh please lord, grant Andrew Larson even more god-like kicking abilities. Allow him to kick field goals like he punts his 70+ yarders.

Fortunately, one of my teams is actually OWNING. The Red Sox are headed to their second World Series in three years. I am fucking excited, no way around it. As much as I liked Cleveland this year, it’s time for them to shave their beards and hit the road. That means you, Casey Blake. The comeback wasn’t as historic, but it’s giving the Sox some nice momentum for the WS, although it doesn’t match the Rockies momentum. That's equivalent to 1/λ = R (1/n₁² + 1/n₂²). Special thanks to dude in the dorm I was working at last night for supplying me with this equation...I still have no idea what it means.

Most entertaining ALCS player goes to Jonathan Papelbon, seen here doing his best impression of Godzilla/Jolly Green Giant (Green Monster, ah ha!). The man has all the qualities of a great closer: hilarious mannerisms (who can beat that stare?), a southern drawl, and fucking good stuff. In a close second was Big Papi, preparing for either a glorious champagne bath or his first swimming lesson. Everyone knows how silly this man is, but what other tricks does he have up his sleeves (which are huge)? I wouldn’t be surprised if he and the Boston pops perform Ode to Joy if they win the Series.

Let’s hope the World Series lasts for seven games. Because with the end of the Dodgers (I'm praying those Rockies don't win it, since that division will look even more better than it already does) and soon the Red Sox, Cal crashing faster than a Concorde, Tom Brady/Randy Moss and co. pwning the entire NFL, and Kobe still on the Lakers, I’ll soon have nothing. I just might start watching Hockey.

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TGIF

I found myself on Friday night sitting and watching the thrilling giants of the Big East duke it out. Yeah, that's right...UCONN and L'Ville (in the battle for the coolest school abbreviation). Does anyone else think that Carson Palmer is Brian Brohm's older brother? Or is it just me? Anyway, as topsy-turvy as this college football season's been, Louisville continued to succeed at being a big disappointment. Wait, you just lost to a perennial basketball school? I guess beating Wake Forest last year took too much gas out of the tank. Probably the epitomy of how dull this game was was in the marching bands. Or lack thereof. Way to go UCONN, your stadium's pump-up system was playing Welcome to the Jungle on third down plays. Congratulations.

I didn't have internet for the past two days, so I didn't get to check my Yahoo! Email (and I obviously didn't get to post ). If you don't use it, let me tell you that it is pretty much off the hook. Check it out. You'll notice that there are always four very intriguing stories on the main page. Usually one's entertainment related, which is always off-the-hook (Note how good that song is in the background). One's about how to fix your failing relationship (which is failing so badly that you're turning to the internet for ways to cure it) or your health. One's a feature article about something funny...like this one about Neanderthals! And the last is usually sports related -- dumbed down enough to cater to idiots.

As a side note, these stories tend to make people into bigger idiots. Like this one. Seriously? I know there's slim pickings this Friday night (see ESPN's coverage), but you chose to report about Josh Beckett's ex-girlfriend? Come on (Granted, she's FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE).I must admit I'm not a hockey fan, so I don't know what's going on with the NHL much. However, those sportscenter highlights of Sidney Crosby and the Penguins game were pretty amazing. Regardless, there was very little going on in sports on this Friday night. I think Tim's post on Joe Torre pretty much summed it up. As such, I really just used this post as an excuse to include a link to the funniest Yahoo! feature I've seen in a long time. Way to go J.K. Rowling. We knew Lance Bass had to be gay. But Dumbledore? That's even bigger! I think by far my favorite line is at the very end, in which Rowling notes that Christian groups believe her books promote witchcraft.............................Do they now?

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I want a candy bar named after me

I'm torn. I'm a Dodgers fan, pure and simple, but secondly I'm a Red Sox fan. And not one of those bandwagon-douchebags who started liking them after 2004; I liked them in 2003, thank you very much. So as the former, I am pissed as hell that we finished fourth in the division, and convinced that it was all Grady Little's terrible managing. I don't think any manager was more polarizing throughout the MLB. Every single move that he made could either be hailed as monumentally brilliant, or more likely terribly retarded. He'd always leave a pitcher in too long (see Broxton's five runs given up to the Padres way back at the season's start), underutilize Mike Liberthal (see Russell Martin's tombstone), and play Juan Pierre too much (about 162 games too much).



On top of that, the Rockies and D-Backs -- both appearing in the league AFTER I WAS BORN -- are gonna be playing in the NLCS. So I'm praying for a tie, although after the whole Coolbaugh incident, and the fact that the Rockies actually demonstrated some seldom-seen human decency in sports by donating their profits, I won't mind the Rockies making it. But a tie would be the best.
As for the the AL, it's the AL Dodgers against the Indians. This is a matchup I'm excited to see. Two dynamite offenses, relatively good pitching staffs with the AL's Cy Young candidates as aces. And Pronk candy bars! (I tried to find a picture of one, but Malley's Chocolates doesn't have any on their website. You can order them here though.

But seriously, so many matchups in the ALCS. Beckett and Sabathia. Papi and Pronk. With those guys plus Manny, Youk, et al, there has to be more fat than in Fight Club. Granted there are some bad players too, obviously all of which played for the Dodgers. Drew, Lugo, and Gagne. This series is really about whether Gagne or Borowski will blow more. And we've also got some nifty plot lines. Manny playing against his former team, and whether he actually decides to play. Trot Nixon sitting and watching against his former team. And Kenny Lofton being really really old. (Thank god Kenny Lofton is in this series. That means I get to see more of that DHL commercial. I've watched that too many times, but each time I find something new and hilarious. By far my favorite is the blatant stereotyped gong that you hear at the end.)

Sidenote: It's currently 9:15 at night here in Berkeley. I'm sitting in my room, listening to music. All of a sudden, I hear a leaf-blower. I got up to check, and it turns out that some dude is just running around our courtyard chasing after someone with a leaf-blower. That guy is the man. I must find out where he bought that leaf-blower.

Anyway, I'm convinced that the Red Sox are too good. They literally barreled through the Angels (granted the Angels didn't stand a chance after people realized that Vlad Guerrero hit more home runs than the rest of his team, and that Reggie Willits wasn't in fact black) and will probably barrel through the Indians since Charlie Sheen isn't on their roster. Unless Francona has a cerebral hemorrhage and starts putting in Gagne, I expect to see the Red Sox quickly meet the Rockies in the World Series.

However, to bring things full-circle, who did the Indians beat? That's right, the dreaded Yankees, most of whom should be within a year of collecting their pensions. We all knew they would collapse: A-Rod just needed to have a monster year and then flail in the playoffs so he could severe all his ties and fly to Chicago. Clemens is beyond washed up, as are Mussina, Pettitte, Rivera, Damon, Williams...oops, forgot he didn't play since they wanted to start getting younger. As a consequence, according to ESPN the skipper's getting pushed overboard. Yup, Joe Torre is going to be out of work, and undoubtedly Joe Girardi is going to cut his skyrocketing TV analyst career short in order to take up the reins. But, not going to lie, I'm kind of sad. It's the end of an era for Joe in New York...

...But who's to say he's finished? Joe Torre is, if there were such a possible comparison, comparable to Phil Jackson.
Both managed the most dominant teams of their respective eras, albeit Joe's have been on decline, and both featured some of the greatest athletes in Jordan, Clemens, and Jeter, to ever play the games. So, just like Jackson, why can't Torre come to LA and make the Dodgers into the contender the Yankees were? He's got some of the brightest young stars in Martin, Andre Ethier, Matt Kemp, Chad Billingsley, Andy LaRoche, Tony Abreu (...do I really need to keep going?) and they would all clearly benefit from having his coaching. And then he's got some of the oldest, quickly fading stars in the league with Nomar, Officer Kent, and Gonzo (all of whom I would prefer not to see on the team next year) who he might be able to use in one way or another. And he's got a fan-base which is just waiting to return to stardom. It has to happen!
I'm telling you, the parallels are unreal.

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