UCLA and Oregon Deserve Each Other

So there I was, focused in on the UCLA/Oregon game that had yet to see a touchdown midway through the 4th quarter while ignoring an intense 4 OT game between Kentucky and Tennessee. And to top it all off, I found myself cheering as loudly as I could for UCLA.

But after what I saw in my one day as a UCLA, I'm retiring.

Not only because I now no longer need UCLA's help (unless them sucking against USC next Saturday counts as getting help from them! ZING!) to give my Trojans a spot in the Rose Bowl, but also because UCLA football is extremely depressing to watch. (To be honest, watching USC's basketball team almost lose to Miami (OH) last night in the Anaheim Classic elicited a similar feeling.)

Watching that UCLA/Oregon felt like watching a football game from the early 1900's. Low scoring, field goals and safeties (well almost in this case) provided what few points there were, and NO FORWARD PASSING. Good god I have never seen so many poor passes in one game. And I understand, both defenses played great, and the majority of the game was played between a 3rd string and 4th string QB. But when the play-by-play guy is suggesting that one of the teams (UCLA) use one of its wide receivers (Brandon Breazell) as their QB because he's the best passer in the game, you know something is wrong.

In defense of both teams, it could have been worse though. The first quarter looked less like 19th century football and more like the Special Olympics. UCLA had -2 rushing yards and its starting QB went 0/7 with 1 INT....and they left the first quarter with the lead. Does UCLA's defense understand that by playing so well and winning the game for the Bruins they only prolong Karl Dorrell's train-wreck tenure in Westwood? If I were a Bruin player, I would be intentionally trying to throw the game to get rid of Dorrell (however UCLA's QBs seem to be doing their best to do just that).

Add onto that the three blind mice that officiated the game. They apparently do not understand that when the ball bounces off the field into a player's hands, that does not count as a completion. BUSH LEAGUE. THAT IS BUSH LEAGUE. (Speaking of poor officiating, a 15 yard unsportsmanlike penalty for raising your arms in the air after a sack? You know Pete Carroll is gonna write a love letter to the Pac-10 on Monday.)

It just was not a fun game to watch, and yet I watched every second of it due to its importance to USC's Rose Bowl hopes. Thank you UCLA for your help and awesome defense today, a big no thank you to anyone on your offense except your kicker. I pray I never have to sit through something like that again. And this coming Saturday, when USC plays UCLA, it's nice to know at least one of the teams will actually have an offense. (Don't worry Bruins, we get to trade places when basketball season gets going.)

The streets will run powder blue with Dorrell's blood on Saturday.

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NATIONAL CHAMPIONS! "WE'RE #1!!!!"

Ladies and gentlemen, it is official. The Stanford Cardinal has just been named the national champions in women's cross-country!! Palo Alto will be one massive party tonight.

Folks, if you're like me, you've been following the women's cross-country season since their very first practices this year. I have been logging every single time trial and have watched as Stanford has established one of the most powerful dynasties in the history of the sport, winning its third straight women's cross-country championship this year. I was watching intently this year to see if Stanford could pull it out, it was quite the sight to behold. That's drama folks.

Unfortunately, I couldn't get tickets, but were it not for my midterms I totally would have dropped the $2500 StubHub was charging to get a seat at the finish line.

This momentous victory for Stanford marks their 95th NCAA national championship, second only to UCLA, who has 100 NCAA national championships. Stanford is working hard every day to catch up to UCLA, but it will take hard work considering how much time and effort UCLA spends in the vital sports of women's softball (10) and gymnastics (5)  as well as men's tennis (16).

But I think Stanford just might have a chance as it strives for excellence in some of the fiercest and most competitive sports in college sports. You know, the big ones, like women's tennis (15), women's swimming and diving (8), and men's golf (8). But the big showdown will be in men's tennis as Stanford's 18 national championships go up against UCLA's 16.

Oh wait. No one gives a shit.

Look, congrats to Arianna Lambie and the rest of the Stanford women's cross-country team. You guys did a great job and I don't want to take anything away from you. It's tough to win a national championship in any sport, and women's cross-country (or any of the other sports I have mentioned so far) is no different.

However, don't ever come up to me and tell me that Stanford has the second best athletic tradition of any school in the country. UCLA and Stanford, do you honestly think that this list really is a who's who of the best athletic programs in the nation? Oklahoma State has the fourth best athletic program of any school in the country? No. Not at all. I wouldn't even put them in the top four in the Big 12. Meanwhile, where the hell are Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Alabama, Florida or Tennessee?

Additionally, keep this in mind: NCAA national championships do not include football national championships since the championship selection is done through the BCS.

Hey UCLA, you know what is a more impressive number than 100? 11. 11 basketball national championships. Or maybe 10 basketball titles in 12 years under John Wooden? That's ridiculous how good that is. Or how about 88 consecutive games won in basketball? All amazing stats, and the only number I ever hear from Bruins is 100 NCAA national championships. Guess what, I don't give a shit about 68 of them.

Hey Stanford, you know what is a more impressive number than 95? Two of them: 24 and 23. 24 points scored against my beloved Trojans and 23 points allowed by the same Trojans. I'm impressed by that. Not by 95 NCAA national championships though. 17 of them are legit and very impressive, the other 78? Not so much.

College sports can be boiled down to a handful of sports, and even here I'm being pretty liberal with what I'm allowing. In order of importance: football, men's basketball, baseball, men's hockey, men's water polo, men's volleyball, and I'll throw in rugby because Cal needs something that they can win at. Now I'm not trying to take anything away from men's gymnastics or any of the women's sports, but men are genetically superior to women. You can't argue with science.

Additionally, you should be proud of every single victory by a team that represents your school, all the way down to your women's chess team to your blasian dance troupe to yes, your Pac-8 club hockey team. However, don't ever tell me for a second that you're going to base who has the better athletic program and who is "#1" based on such trivial sports where your school is one of only four or five other schools that can field a team.

And yes, I do realize that USC (even without football) is #3 on that list of NCAA national championships with 84. But I am willing to invoke a strict double-standard here and say it's only cool when my school does it. But for the rest of you, it doesn't count.

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Yes, USC does in fact have a hockey team.

Hockey is my first love. As amazing as the Hunt for October in baseball, March Madness in basketball, or the bowl games of New Year's Day in college football are, nothing beats a few Canadians smacking around vulcanized rubber for 60 minutes.

My love for hockey was sealed during the 1993 Stanley Cup Finals. I was 4 going on 5 and was just starting to get into sports for real. The LA Kings had just finished a classic seven game series against the Toronto Maple Leafs and were all set to play the Montreal Canadiens. The Kings took game 1 and were poised to take a 2-0 series lead heading back to Los Angeles when Marty McSorley's stick was determined to have an illegally large curve on it with just a few minutes left in the game. Montreal scored on the ensuing powerplay and used the momentum to win the series and the Stanley Cup. The Kings have never been past the second round since. Watching that game, as heartbreaking as it was for me, sealed my love of hockey and sports in general.

Fast forward to now. I'm in college. My friends are in college. I go to a school close to home in my favorite city in the world, I'm getting an amazing education, I have so many opportunities for me, and I get to root for one of the best football teams in the nation. And yet something is still missing. Oh yeah, this. I want that. I'll take double the classes and fly back and forth between Oxford, Ohio and LA if I can get in on that. Unfortunately for me, USC, unlike Miami (Ohio), does not have the #2 ice hockey team in the nation.

But!

That doesn't mean I still can't watch college hockey.

Yes, USC does in fact have a hockey team.

Last year I went to the Pac-8 (Arizona and Oregon State: get your shit together) Ice Hockey Championship in El Segundo. USC played the powerhouse (at least as close as you can get to being a powerhouse team in the Pac-8) Oregon Ducks in the finals. Quite a game, and surprisingly quality hockey. The second period ended early in order to sort out the over 10 penalties assessed in a three minute span. USC tied the game with a pulled goalie under a minute left in the 3rd period, and then won it in overtime. Pretty fucking rad if you're a Trojan.

Anyway, so I found out last night that USC was playing a hockey game against our favorite school in the whole wide world, those lovable Bruins of UCLA. Even better, I found out that the game was literally down the street from where my dorm is: Staples Center. My reaction was obviously (and only a few of you will understand what I mean by this): GATOR!

So me and my friends grab our sweatshirts (second time I've had to wear a sweatshirt all year long) and headed to the game just after the Kings game at Staples Center finished. We get to Staples only to find that we are not allowed in to watch the game. You have to have attended the game and then stayed for the USC/UCLA game afterwards (which we knew was total bullshit because my friend Cornelia was at the game and she was at her sorority during the Kings game and thus obviously didn't attend).

We refused to take no for an answer and ended up getting the ticket stubs to the Kings game from people leaving the stadium, and then tried to get in with those. That didn't work. Being the clever and cunning students we are, we then went to a door where there were no security guards and snuck into Staples Center. I know, my account of getting into the game is not on par with Tim's descriptions of lines around the stadium waiting to get in, but I bet he never had to deal with panhandling for ticket stubs to a game that had just finished.

Anyway, so we get in and though the place wasn't packed or anything, there was a decent crowd for both teams considering the game was at 10:30 pm on a Thursday night off campus and was poorly advertised.

One weird thing we learned at the game: this game at Staples Center was a home game for UCLA. For those of you not familiar with Los Angeles geography, let's review: USC to Staples, and UCLA to Staples (fyi Mapquest does not factor in the ridiculous traffic associated with driving from Westwood to Downtown). So where is USC's home ice? The Anaheim Ice Center, 30 miles southeast of USC. Don't worry, I'm sure the made sense at the time.
Regardless of who's home game it was, the crowd was about 60-40 Trojans. Both sides were loud and raucous, and in general the game was a lot of fun. Bruin fans were constantly doing the 8-Clap (out of time for the most part) and Trojan fans did the SoCal Spell-Out after every goal (also out of time for the most part). There was jeering back and forth, and it felt just like any other USC/UCLA rivalry game (although I will say that the USC/UCLA blasian dance-off was by far the most intense).

The only thing that was unfortunate was the quality of play. USC and UCLA are club teams and were playing their 6th and 5th games of the season respectively. Since they're club teams, they don't get to really practice during the off-season, and I wouldn't be surprised if most of the players got very few opportunities to ever get on the ice during the summer. As a result, both teams were sloppy with their stick-handling, shots, and passing, but showed flashes of brilliance with their vision on the ice. The team will significantly improve as the season goes on, if last year is any indication for the Trojans. They started 5-6 before finishing 16-6-1 and winning the Pac-8 Championships.

The actual game itself was intense. UCLA had an early 2-1 lead, but USC bounced back with three unanswered goals. The Bruins pulled within one, but USC scored again to make it 5-3. The Trojans then killed off a 1:45 two-man advantage for the Bruins. As the third period drew to a close, the Bruins scored to once again make it a one goal game. They then drew a penalty and pulled their goalie with under a minute remaining, but USC, thanks to some amazing defense, managed to hold onto the lead and win the game 5-4, much to the dismay of the UCLA fans that took a bus from campus to Staples Center.

If you go to USC, UCLA, or any other school in the Pac-8 (Beavers and Wildcats be damned), go and watch your hockey team. It's a lot of fun and these guys are literally your average students. They aren't on scholarship, they don't get special benefits, they weren't recruited. They got in to your school just like you, they take the same classes as you, and just happen to play hockey.

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