Why Am I Doing This? Pt. 2 (or 10 Things I Learned On Saturday)

So I thought I was gonna write this post on Saturday night, but I’ve been so tired that I’ve need Saturday night, all of Sunday, and then the majority of today to recharge the batteries and get back to normal.

For those of you that aren’t privy to the content of this post, I mentioned on Friday night that I was planning to get up at 4:45am Saturday morning and go to Ye Olde King’s Head, a traditional British pub, to watch the Arsenal vs. Man U game, and then come back to USC for our homecoming game against Oregon State.

Luckily, I’ve survived both the half-asleep drive to Santa Monica and the rowdy Brits, and am here to share 10 things I learned on Saturday.

10. California is in the worst time zone in the world if you’re an English Premier League fan.I love being able to wake up on Saturdays and turn on the TV to see moderately interesting games already in the second half. Additionally, I love being able to watch Monday Night Football and then go grab dinner afterwards. I love the fact that during the NHL playoffs, no matter how many overtimes a game goes, I will be able to watch it until the very end and still be able to get plenty of sleep for classes the next morning. However, I do not enjoy waking up at 4:45am. That’s just bullshit. Most of my friends were coming back from parties at the same time I was waking up to head out for the game.

9. College makes everything acceptable.

So I go to my friend’s frat to tailgate for the football (not futbol) game, and his parents happen to be there. It was really awkward because I wanted to have a few drinks, but I know his parents and his parents know my parents and in general that’s awkward. But then his dad kept trying to get me and the girls I was with drunk…alright, well then game on I guess. I had a beer with his parents, while my friend played a round of Louisville Chugger in front of them.

8. Sometimes tying feels just as good as winning.

After a very close and exciting game, Man U pulled out to a 2-1 lead in the 86th minute, and then proceeded to do a very good job of playing keep-away. They had all but sealed up three points on Arsenal’s turf, and all the Red Devil fans at the pub were starting to celebrate the win, when a clusterfuck to the net (SEVEN ARSENAL PLAYERS IN THE MAN U BOX!) gave William Gallas an opportunity for redemption, which he seized to tie the game. Gallas, who earlier had a Man U shot deflect off of his hand into the net to put his team down 1-0, delivered a powerful strike that Man U keeper Edwin Van Der Saar successfully blocked and deflected away during the 93rd minute. Unfortunately for Man U, Van Der Saar and the ball he knocked away were both very clearly across the goal line, which means count it. Boo-yah! My buddy and I practically skipped out of the pub because we were so happy with the draw, while all of the Man U fans sulked.

7. Sometimes watching the opposing quarterback get his face shoved into the ground nine times feels just as good as scoring a touchdown.

Okay so the Trojan offensive looked sick during the second quarter, raping and pillaging in the manner that they were supposed to be doing all season, but other than that they look fairly lackadaisical and average. However, USC’s ridiculous defense and stud true-freshman freak of nature Everson Griffen (affectionately known as "The E-Train") more than made up for the lack of offensive firepower by registering nine sacks, several on third down situations. Griffen alone had 3.5 sacks and in general looked like a man on a mission. It is going to be fun watching him develop.

6. Arsenal has a lot of heart.
I was very impressed by the Gunners’ resiliency and mental composure after falling behind twice to a very good Man U team. Additionally, they could have easily given up and conceded defeat as extra time was winding to a close, but instead the young team kept fighting and kept pounding until they tied the game up. Furthermore, the leader of this team, 20 year-old Cesc Fabregas, is already one of the best players in all of EPL and is getting better every game. In 15 games for Arsenal in all matches this season, Fabregas has 11 goals and 9 assists. Additionally, he earned huge style points for responding to the yellow card he received by trash-talking with the Man U player he fouled and mimicking his diving for the next two minutes. What a guy.

5. USC (and frat row in particular) looks like a ghost town at 8am on the weekend.

The girls on the soccer team were starting to practice at the field across from my dorm, but other than that I don’t think I saw a single living soul until like 10am. To be fair, were it not for the soccer game, I wouldn’t have woken up until around noon myself.

4. It’s okay to be a dirty ho at a football game, as long as you’re a clever dirty ho.
This fellow USC student had one of the classiest shirts I have every seen in my entire life. For the game between the USC Trojans and the Oregon State Beavers, this girl wrote in sharpie on the back of her shirt, “At least my beaver likes to get pounded by Trojans.” Bravo ma’am. You do your university proud. I expect to see you in the next TV ad USC makes.

3. 6am is apparently as good a time as any for a pint of Guinness.

Okay, so I’m not a Brit, nor a frat guy, nor an alcoholic, so I might be speaking as an odd man out here, but why in God’s name would drinking a very thick, dark beer at 6am be a good idea? When the game was starting up, a waitress came around and basically got every single person in the pub a cup of coffee. The next time around, a few people ordered some breakfast, a few people like myself simply got another cup of coffee, but a surprising number of people started ordering pints. And then started ordering a second round of pints. And then a third. And so on. Uggggggggggggg. Just thinking about drinking that much Guinness that early in the morning is making me feel sick. Speaking of which…

2. Mexican food, 3 cups of coffee, a Philly Cheesesteak, beer, and Panda Express do not mix well.
Woof. I had Chano’s for dinner, coffee during the soccer game, a Philly Cheesesteak from the Pantry for lunch, beer before the football game, and Panda for dinner. I was not a happy camper. Imagine if I had gone to a party and drank more that night like I initially planned to until I basically fell asleep watching Sports Center. Anyway, word to the wise, the aforementioned ingredients plus lots of jumping and screaming equal vomit. Luckily, I knew this equation from my chemistry class in high school and knew to limit my consumption. Additionally, imagine if I ate a ghetto dog (bacon-wrapped hot dogs cooked in shopping carts by various illegal street vendors that can be found all over USC after football games) on the way back from the football game. It would mean the worst.

1. I am going to Ye Olde King's Head for every big soccer game for the rest of the season.

Yeah, it sucked to wake up that early. Yeah, I felt sick and was tired as shit for the rest of the weekend. Yeah, it prevented me from going to parties on both Friday and Saturday night. But it was 100% completely worth it. Absolutely without a doubt the best environment to watch a soccer game in. The pub was electric. People were constantly cheering and booing, as well as jeering at opposing fans. The fans all knew their shit, and were all very committed and loyal fans. It just felt right. And as great as it is to be sitting in your room wrapped up in a blanket watching your team play, it doesn’t come close to the sheer exhilaration of an entire pub going ape-shit because your team tied the game with under a minute to play in the game.

P.S.
If any of you are looking to buy me a Chanukah gift and don’t know what to get, a Starbucks card might be a good idea because I’m going to be needing a lot of caffeine for the rest of the year to get me awake for all of these games.