Ladies and gentlemen, it is official. The Stanford Cardinal has just been named the national champions in women's cross-country!! Palo Alto will be one massive party tonight.
Folks, if you're like me, you've been following the women's cross-country season since their very first practices this year. I have been logging every single time trial and have watched as Stanford has established one of the most powerful dynasties in the history of the sport, winning its third straight women's cross-country championship this year. I was watching intently this year to see if Stanford could pull it out, it was quite the sight to behold. That's drama folks.
Unfortunately, I couldn't get tickets, but were it not for my midterms I totally would have dropped the $2500 StubHub was charging to get a seat at the finish line.
This momentous victory for Stanford marks their 95th NCAA national championship, second only to UCLA, who has 100 NCAA national championships. Stanford is working hard every day to catch up to UCLA, but it will take hard work considering how much time and effort UCLA spends in the vital sports of women's softball (10) and gymnastics (5) as well as men's tennis (16).
But I think Stanford just might have a chance as it strives for excellence in some of the fiercest and most competitive sports in college sports. You know, the big ones, like women's tennis (15), women's swimming and diving (8), and men's golf (8). But the big showdown will be in men's tennis as Stanford's 18 national championships go up against UCLA's 16.
Oh wait. No one gives a shit.
Look, congrats to Arianna Lambie and the rest of the Stanford women's cross-country team. You guys did a great job and I don't want to take anything away from you. It's tough to win a national championship in any sport, and women's cross-country (or any of the other sports I have mentioned so far) is no different.
However, don't ever come up to me and tell me that Stanford has the second best athletic tradition of any school in the country. UCLA and Stanford, do you honestly think that this list really is a who's who of the best athletic programs in the nation? Oklahoma State has the fourth best athletic program of any school in the country? No. Not at all. I wouldn't even put them in the top four in the Big 12. Meanwhile, where the hell are Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Alabama, Florida or Tennessee?
Additionally, keep this in mind: NCAA national championships do not include football national championships since the championship selection is done through the BCS.
Hey UCLA, you know what is a more impressive number than 100? 11. 11 basketball national championships. Or maybe 10 basketball titles in 12 years under John Wooden? That's ridiculous how good that is. Or how about 88 consecutive games won in basketball? All amazing stats, and the only number I ever hear from Bruins is 100 NCAA national championships. Guess what, I don't give a shit about 68 of them.
Hey Stanford, you know what is a more impressive number than 95? Two of them: 24 and 23. 24 points scored against my beloved Trojans and 23 points allowed by the same Trojans. I'm impressed by that. Not by 95 NCAA national championships though. 17 of them are legit and very impressive, the other 78? Not so much.
College sports can be boiled down to a handful of sports, and even here I'm being pretty liberal with what I'm allowing. In order of importance: football, men's basketball, baseball, men's hockey, men's water polo, men's volleyball, and I'll throw in rugby because Cal needs something that they can win at. Now I'm not trying to take anything away from men's gymnastics or any of the women's sports, but men are genetically superior to women. You can't argue with science.
Additionally, you should be proud of every single victory by a team that represents your school, all the way down to your women's chess team to your blasian dance troupe to yes, your Pac-8 club hockey team. However, don't ever tell me for a second that you're going to base who has the better athletic program and who is "#1" based on such trivial sports where your school is one of only four or five other schools that can field a team.
And yes, I do realize that USC (even without football) is #3 on that list of NCAA national championships with 84. But I am willing to invoke a strict double-standard here and say it's only cool when my school does it. But for the rest of you, it doesn't count.
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