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Dedicated to supplying college students with irreverent sarcasm and unprofessional analysis of sports since 1988.
So here's the deal, outside of me, Tim, and a small handful of our assorted friends, no one gives a shit about soccer. This is disheartening to me, but I think that I've devised a way for the rest of you to learn to recognize some of the biggest players on the planet: dopplegangers. What are dopplegangers? Glad you asked. So here we go, via me and Tim: soccer dopplegangers.
Cobi Jones - The Predator
Posted by
Ken of Troy
at
12:34 AM
2
comments
Labels: doppleganger, soccer
I really really really wish I lived in Massachusetts right now (and not just because of the state of affairs of the Golden Bears. That rhymes.) Not here in Massachusetts. I wish I lived in Boston. The public transportation system is fucking amazing there -- a foreign concept to an LA native. Dunkin Donuts are on every corner, and I love Dunkin Donuts. I could pahk my cah at havahd yahd (actually, I wouldn't have a car because CARS IN BOSTON ARE FUCKING INSANE). More importantly, because I lived in Boston, all my sports teams would be winning (I have yet to verify anything about the Boston Bruins because I infact still do not watch Hockey. This would lead to a greater increase in my personal well-being, and more importantly lots of partying everywhere. No, not that type of party. I'm talking about lots and lots of partying, with:
1. Dudes with awesome accents
2. Attractive women
3. Stephen King.
Unless I was number 2, I don't think I'd get to see the true "Jesuses" (or is the plural Jesi?) of Boston: their star athletes. With the success of the Patriots, the Red Sox, and Boston College, and the presumed success the Celtics will have as well, I have compiled a list of the top 10 Sports Superstars in (and around) Beantown right now. From 10-1, and in no affiliation with Bill Simmons, here we go:
10. Jonathan Papelbon - Even if you haven't seen him dominate over the past two years, most recently in game two of the World Series, watch this video.
Posted by
Cal at Cal
at
7:37 PM
2
comments
Labels: baseball, Basketball, college football, Jonathan Papelbon, NFL, Red Sox, Tom Brady
Hockey is my first love. As amazing as the Hunt for October in baseball, March Madness in basketball, or the bowl games of New Year's Day in college football are, nothing beats a few Canadians smacking around vulcanized rubber for 60 minutes.
Posted by
Ken of Troy
at
11:40 AM
51
comments
Labels: college hockey, UCLA, USC
Ok just a short post for right now because I need to study for my IR and Arabic midterms (and/or apply for a job at McDonald's because I'm going to fail out of college after these two midterms).
Posted by
Ken of Troy
at
6:30 PM
11
comments
Labels: college football, Lou Holtz, Nebraska, retards
Los Angeles -- Southern California, for that matter -- is ACTUALLY burning. Never would've thought that crappy Tommy Lee Jones movie would ever become a reality. I went home this weekend and saw the fires firsthand (the airplane pilot decided to take a quick detour to fly us over them and see the smoke) and it was spooky. Hope everyone who’s reading this down there is okay. Fortunately for me, I am not in LA. Unfortunately for me, I am still not okay.
As a side note, before you read anymore, it's time for some shameless self-promotion. We've only been a blog going on 2+ weeks note, but check out this website (12th in the nation! Better than the Golden Bears can say). I'd appreciate it if you went and voted for us by going to the bottom of the right tool bar. Thanks a bunch!Anyway, I'm emotionally scarred after the second straight loss to my Golden Bears. Ironically, I jokingly said earlier that Cal could go 0-4 before the USC game. Now I'm praying they at least go 2-2. But it would appear that the season is beyond repair. I could outline some of the scenarios to win the Pac-10 title, such as Cal winning out, Oregon losing at USC/ASU, ASU losing to Oregon/USC, and UCLA losing to Oregon/ASU/USC, along with the establishment of a free Palestinian state and the curing of cancer. The way this season is going, all of those are possible…but should Cal win out and be eligible for an At-Large BCS berth, they wouldn’t deserve it given their shitty performances these past two weeks.
The team still gets my support, since I’ve got two more sets of card stunts at the home games. But my explanation for the drop from 2 to 21 is Jordan Kay (Thanks for the irony, Daily Cal). He might not be Tom Schneider/Jesus, but he’s had two crucial field goals missed in losses to OSU and UCLA. Kevin Riley might run the clock out when Nate Longshore doesn’t, and Nate Longshore might throw interceptions when Kevin Riley doesn’t, but those easy three would’ve changed both losses. Oh please lord, grant Andrew Larson even more god-like kicking abilities. Allow him to kick field goals like he punts his 70+ yarders.
Fortunately, one of my teams is actually OWNING. The Red Sox are headed to their second World Series in three years. I am fucking excited, no way around it. As much as I liked Cleveland this year, it’s time for them to shave their beards and hit the road. That means you, Casey Blake. The comeback wasn’t as historic, but it’s giving the Sox some nice momentum for the WS, although it doesn’t match the Rockies momentum. That's equivalent to 1/λ = R (1/n12 + 1/n22). Special thanks to dude in the dorm I was working at last night for supplying me with this equation...I still have no idea what it means.
Most entertaining ALCS player goes to Jonathan Papelbon, seen here doing his best impression of Godzilla/Jolly Green Giant (Green Monster, ah ha!). The man has all the qualities of a great closer: hilarious mannerisms (who can beat that stare?), a southern drawl, and fucking good stuff. In a close second was Big Papi, preparing for either a glorious champagne bath or his first swimming lesson. Everyone knows how silly this man is, but what other tricks does he have up his sleeves (which are huge)? I wouldn’t be surprised if he and the Boston pops perform Ode to Joy if they win the Series.
Let’s hope the World Series lasts for seven games. Because with the end of the Dodgers (I'm praying those Rockies don't win it, since that division will look even more better than it already does) and soon the Red Sox, Cal crashing faster than a Concorde, Tom Brady/Randy Moss and co. pwning the entire NFL, and Kobe still on the Lakers, I’ll soon have nothing. I just might start watching Hockey.
Posted by
Cal at Cal
at
11:24 AM
0
comments
Labels: ALCS, baseball, Cal, college football, Jonathan Papelbon, Pwned
So one of the things that I do when I'm not blogging is this thing called TIRP, where you guest teach stuff about international relations at high schools near USC. One of the exercises I did with my classes had to do with globalization and was called "Why Should I Care?" It's a pretty simple exercise. Basically you're supposed to plan a fun weekend with your friends and then you're supposed to list all of the things you would need for the weekend. I then tell the students to cross off every single item on the list that is a foreign product or resource, which is basically everything on the list. The point is that you can't isolate yourself from the outside world and that a world without international trade would blow.
Posted by
Ken of Troy
at
6:00 PM
0
comments
Labels: commercials, girls, Peyton Manning